Corporate disobedience

Improve your sanity and take back your life...

I'm trying to compile a list of things that you can do to protect your privacy, screw up the research data that people collect about you every day, stop junk mail and telemarketing calls, and generally improve your sanity. At least for me, these things have made me feel a little less powerless, and they always make me smile. The first time re-sent junk mail I was so happy I giggled the whole time...

The list below is very short, so please email me (taal@math.jmu.edu) if you have any more suggestions. Thank you to those people who contributed to the list below.

Trading Grocery Store Cards: Grocery store cards (that you scan at the register for discounts) are used to collect information about your buying habits. Refusing to use such cards just forces you to pay inflated prices (using a discount card isn't always a bonus; more often it's *not* using one that is a penalty...often the discount card price is the *reasonable* price while the non-card price is artificially inflated). Instead of cutting up your discount cards, every month or so trade grocery store cards with someone else. This will screw up the data they are collecting about you - this month you bought beer and cheese wiz, next month you're buying soy milk and diapers??

Re-sending Junk Mail: Instead of throwing away all your junk mail, open it up and collect all the reply envelopes. Then shuffle all the other contents (take out anything with your name on it), fill up the envelopes, and send them back. Tell Providian Bank that they can get a home-equity loan from Capital One! Let *them* take out the recycling! I'm not sure if those reply envelopes are coded only for a particular weight, so you might not want to put too much stuff into each envelope. However, I've heard stories of people that have sent boxes of rocks with the junk mail reply envelope taped to the top!

Forget How to Spell Your Name: If you intentionally mispell your name when you register for something or subscribe to a magazine, you can see what future junk mail came from that company selling your information. It also makes it easier to sort out junk mail from bills! If you don't like being called by telemarketers, and for some reason you have to enter a phone number (this happens a lot on the internet, I've noticed), then change one digit in your phone number when you enter it.

Make Up Answers for Surveys: If you have to give data about yourself (your income, number of kids, rent/own a home, what kind of spaghetti sauce you like, or whatever) to register for something, or get survey calls or junk mail, make up fake answers. At the very least you'll get more interesting "targeted" junk mail in the future... and if enough people do it then maybe companies will start manufacturing bizzare products that nobody wants...

Interrupting Telemarketers: I always had a hard time getting off the phone with telemarketers until I stumbled on the following magic phrase, which I interrupt them with as soon as they say "Hi, I'm Judy calling from...". The magic phrase is: "Oh, I'm sorry, but I never take any telemarketing calls. Could you please remove me from your list?". They usually give up their "rap" after I say that, and it only takes three seconds. It also works to tell them they've called a work number (say you're a law office or a dentist's office or something); they should let you go immediately. For a longer, more comprehensive way to say "no" see "Anti-Telemarketing Script" below. I've always wanted to say "I'm sorry, I can't take telemarketing calls because I don't have a phone," but I can never manage to say that without laughing.

Asking Telemarketers Questions: I seem to be plagued by telemarketers claiming to be collecting for police charities; sometimes these "police" organizations (*even* if they offer you a "sticker" for your car) give very little of the money they collect to the police, and in some cases even use your money to support legislation you may disagree with. Ask (1) if they are *really* the police, or whoever they claim to be, (2) how much money goes to the police, or whoever, and (3) what happens to the other money. A lot of telemarketers are not prepared to deal with an "active" person on the telephone, and won't know the answers to these questions. If they can't answer these questions to your satisfaction, you don't have to feel guilty about not donating to their "charity".

Confusing Telemarketers: Next time a telemarketer calls, interrupt their script with your own! Tell them that as a caller to your household they have been selected to receive a vacation package, and try to get them to sign up for it. Or try to get them to join the fast-growing Amway family. Or insist that the telmarketer is a friend of yours that is just pretending to be a telmarketer. Or start telling them the story of your life. Or tell them that you are a receptionist at a dentist's office... Recently I've been having more trouble getting rid of telemarketers just by interrupting them, so I've been telling them that I am am "not allowed" to accept telemarketing calls. If they pressure me to stay on the phone I try to sound really nervous and tell them that I'm going to be in a lot of trouble and that I've "already said too much"... One day I want to get my husband in on this so when they call he can start screaming at me for talking on the phone and we can act out a knock-down, drag-out fight for the telmarketer's benefit. At the very least it would make the poor telemarketer's life more interesting (as irritating as telmarketers are, I try to remember that most of the actual callers are just people that are trying to make a little bit of money in a crappy, no-fun job).

Anti-Telemarketing Script: Check out the Junkbusters Anti-Telemarketing Script. This a whole script of questions that you can use against telemarketers; you might even be able to *sue* telemarketers depending on the answers they give you. The Junkbusters site is a fantastic resource for fighting junk mail, spam, and telemarketers (*much* better than this one!).